Dear Jemma,
It's late. Today has been an especially hard day on me! Sometimes I wonder if I bring hard days on myself, but I guess I'll never know. Hard days make us better people, but, to be perfectly honest, I don't feel better right now. Maybe it's one of those things you have to see in the long-run. Most things happen that way.
You had a hard time going to sleep tonight. After a series of long events, at 10:00, you were staring up at me. You were laying in my arms, and I think you were the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! Your big blue eyes, and your incredibly pouty lips. You didn't smile or scowl, you just looked at me--as if you could see right through me--see exactly what was going on in my mind and heart. I think babies are incredibly special and extremely close to the spirit. So, who knows? Maybe you did.
As I laid you down, wide awake, you didn't cry out--didn't even make a peep. You were just so peaceful.
Piles of dinner dishes waiting to be done, floors to be slept, toys to be picked up, one load of laundry in the washer, one in the dryer, and one still waiting to go in. There were piles of folded clean clothes that covered my bed. Sewing stuff covering my bedroom (as Santa's elf works diligently sewing princess dresses and superhero capes). Bath time messes that needed to be picked up.
But wide awake, you still let me lay you down. It's as if you knew that I needed my two hands to do everything else, and so you let me put you down.
I washed dishes and cleaned up the kitchen area, and your dad did the rest. I sneaked into your room when I was done, and I saw that perfect girl, asleep. You still looked so incredibly peaceful. I wanted to cover you with kisses and snuggle you close to my chest, but you need sleep...and so does this incredibly tired mom.
For tonight and always: thank you for teaching me understanding. Thank you for listening to my heart, even though no words were spoken. Thank you for showing me such love, because this incredibly tired-sometimes cranky mom sure needed you today.
I love you,
Mom
