Dear Jemma,
It's late. Today has been an especially hard day on me! Sometimes I wonder if I bring hard days on myself, but I guess I'll never know. Hard days make us better people, but, to be perfectly honest, I don't feel better right now. Maybe it's one of those things you have to see in the long-run. Most things happen that way.
You had a hard time going to sleep tonight. After a series of long events, at 10:00, you were staring up at me. You were laying in my arms, and I think you were the most beautiful thing I have ever seen! Your big blue eyes, and your incredibly pouty lips. You didn't smile or scowl, you just looked at me--as if you could see right through me--see exactly what was going on in my mind and heart. I think babies are incredibly special and extremely close to the spirit. So, who knows? Maybe you did.
As I laid you down, wide awake, you didn't cry out--didn't even make a peep. You were just so peaceful.
Piles of dinner dishes waiting to be done, floors to be slept, toys to be picked up, one load of laundry in the washer, one in the dryer, and one still waiting to go in. There were piles of folded clean clothes that covered my bed. Sewing stuff covering my bedroom (as Santa's elf works diligently sewing princess dresses and superhero capes). Bath time messes that needed to be picked up.
But wide awake, you still let me lay you down. It's as if you knew that I needed my two hands to do everything else, and so you let me put you down.
I washed dishes and cleaned up the kitchen area, and your dad did the rest. I sneaked into your room when I was done, and I saw that perfect girl, asleep. You still looked so incredibly peaceful. I wanted to cover you with kisses and snuggle you close to my chest, but you need sleep...and so does this incredibly tired mom.
For tonight and always: thank you for teaching me understanding. Thank you for listening to my heart, even though no words were spoken. Thank you for showing me such love, because this incredibly tired-sometimes cranky mom sure needed you today.
I love you,
Mom
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Jemma's Heart, Lisa
At my 38 week appointment, I had an ultrasound done to measure the size of Jemma. They wanted to see how big she would be, and if induction was needed. She ended up only be 8 pounds 6 ounces, but I am so glad they induced me early!
The ultrasound technician didn't act like she found any problems during the ultrasound, but looking back, she spent a lot of time looking at Jemma's heart. I went to visit my physician later that week, and in the casual way that he presents things, he said, "Oh, and they found an abnormality in her heart." When further questioned, he didn't know what it was named, and he could only semi-explain what it was. I was confused, and I couldn't even research to see what it was. I left in semi-panic.
I was able to pull together my thoughts and feelings on the way home and once home, tell Scott about the appointment. (He stayed home with the kids.) At that point, I felt such incredible peace. However, we soon switched roles, and Scott was extremely worried for about 24 hours. After prayer, we both felt really at peace, and we didn't feel the need to be concerned. In blessings, I was reassured repeatedly that Jemma was healthy and to be at peace.
Just as a precaution, we were told that Jemma would need an echo cardiogram after she was born. Our hospital wasn't equipped for tiny infants, so we needed to travel north for that appointment.
Jemma was born. Her heart rate through labor was steady. As I was pushing her out, her heart rate did dip dangerously low, and so we made sure she came out rather quickly. She was born, and after the doctor and respiratory therapist looking her over, they determined she had an APGAR score of a 9 or 10. Practically perfect. (Not the typical score of someone with a heart problem.)
However, we scheduled the appointment with a pediatric cardiologist in Provo. He was going out of town with his family the week after Jemma was born. He wouldn't be in the office until she was 3 weeks old. He looked at her ultrasounds, and he didn't think we needed immediate attention. So, we waited.
Waiting bites.
Our families prayed. We prayed. Everyone in our little family prayed for Jemma's heart. We never felt worried or concerned. Both of our parents even commented to us that they didn't feel like anything was wrong. It was difficult not to know for certain, though. Perhaps I need more faith.
We went this last week to the pediatric cardiologist. We learned that they were concerned she had a thickened Trabecular Valve on the right side of her heart. The valves on the left side are thickened, but the right side is supposed to be smooth. We learned that this is a very rare heart defect, and it effects only a handful of infants.
Jemma went through a heart rate monitor and an ECHO cardiogram. She was calm (with the help of a bottle and pacifier), but it's not fun having all those stickers stuck to your skin. (One test had 13 stickers involved!) She was exhausted after the visit, and she collapsed on the way home.
After several hours at the specialist, it was determined that nothing was wrong. Jemma has a perfect heart! After a long three weeks, I am so extremely grateful for answered prayers. For the spirit that provides reassurance. For peace. For strength in family prayer. For Jemma and her sweet spirit.
The ultrasound technician didn't act like she found any problems during the ultrasound, but looking back, she spent a lot of time looking at Jemma's heart. I went to visit my physician later that week, and in the casual way that he presents things, he said, "Oh, and they found an abnormality in her heart." When further questioned, he didn't know what it was named, and he could only semi-explain what it was. I was confused, and I couldn't even research to see what it was. I left in semi-panic.
I was able to pull together my thoughts and feelings on the way home and once home, tell Scott about the appointment. (He stayed home with the kids.) At that point, I felt such incredible peace. However, we soon switched roles, and Scott was extremely worried for about 24 hours. After prayer, we both felt really at peace, and we didn't feel the need to be concerned. In blessings, I was reassured repeatedly that Jemma was healthy and to be at peace.
Just as a precaution, we were told that Jemma would need an echo cardiogram after she was born. Our hospital wasn't equipped for tiny infants, so we needed to travel north for that appointment.
Jemma was born. Her heart rate through labor was steady. As I was pushing her out, her heart rate did dip dangerously low, and so we made sure she came out rather quickly. She was born, and after the doctor and respiratory therapist looking her over, they determined she had an APGAR score of a 9 or 10. Practically perfect. (Not the typical score of someone with a heart problem.)
However, we scheduled the appointment with a pediatric cardiologist in Provo. He was going out of town with his family the week after Jemma was born. He wouldn't be in the office until she was 3 weeks old. He looked at her ultrasounds, and he didn't think we needed immediate attention. So, we waited.
Waiting bites.
Our families prayed. We prayed. Everyone in our little family prayed for Jemma's heart. We never felt worried or concerned. Both of our parents even commented to us that they didn't feel like anything was wrong. It was difficult not to know for certain, though. Perhaps I need more faith.
We went this last week to the pediatric cardiologist. We learned that they were concerned she had a thickened Trabecular Valve on the right side of her heart. The valves on the left side are thickened, but the right side is supposed to be smooth. We learned that this is a very rare heart defect, and it effects only a handful of infants.
Jemma went through a heart rate monitor and an ECHO cardiogram. She was calm (with the help of a bottle and pacifier), but it's not fun having all those stickers stuck to your skin. (One test had 13 stickers involved!) She was exhausted after the visit, and she collapsed on the way home.
After several hours at the specialist, it was determined that nothing was wrong. Jemma has a perfect heart! After a long three weeks, I am so extremely grateful for answered prayers. For the spirit that provides reassurance. For peace. For strength in family prayer. For Jemma and her sweet spirit.
Feeding, Lisa
Feeding my kids has always been a touchy subject. I'll be the first person to play it off and tell you it doesn't bother me, but it obviously effects me. :)
I struggled in breastfeeding both Macey and Cooper. Because of the struggle I experienced, I was determined to not even try with Jemma. Trying with Macey and Cooper emotionally effected me, and I wasn't able to do it in the end. I decided it wasn't worth the emotional struggle.
A week after Jemma was born, I was so uncomfortable, I decided to try pumping. I pumped milk, and I was shocked (and a little excited).Three weeks later, and we are still going strong! Well, we are still going. We have only supplemented formula a few times, and it has been such a blessing to not have to purchase formula yet.
The past few weeks, we have been to the doctor a few times, had Jemma in the hospital, Emergency Room twice, and a heart specialist for Jemma. I have gotten a few EOB's from our insurance company, and I know the amount of money these visits are going to cost us. It will be overwhelming for a little while.
I know that breastfeeding isn't magically going to put enough money in our pocket to pay for everything. However, I do think it's a tender mercy to not have to worry about another expense. I feel like it's the Lord's way of reminding me that he is aware of us. Even if this only lasts for a month, I know that it is a blessing!
I struggled in breastfeeding both Macey and Cooper. Because of the struggle I experienced, I was determined to not even try with Jemma. Trying with Macey and Cooper emotionally effected me, and I wasn't able to do it in the end. I decided it wasn't worth the emotional struggle.
A week after Jemma was born, I was so uncomfortable, I decided to try pumping. I pumped milk, and I was shocked (and a little excited).Three weeks later, and we are still going strong! Well, we are still going. We have only supplemented formula a few times, and it has been such a blessing to not have to purchase formula yet.
The past few weeks, we have been to the doctor a few times, had Jemma in the hospital, Emergency Room twice, and a heart specialist for Jemma. I have gotten a few EOB's from our insurance company, and I know the amount of money these visits are going to cost us. It will be overwhelming for a little while.
I know that breastfeeding isn't magically going to put enough money in our pocket to pay for everything. However, I do think it's a tender mercy to not have to worry about another expense. I feel like it's the Lord's way of reminding me that he is aware of us. Even if this only lasts for a month, I know that it is a blessing!
Blessings, Lisa
It has been a whirlwind of a few weeks. I don't even know how to explain everything that has happened. I have been completely overwhelmed, but Scott has been, steadily, by my side through it all. He has also been able to exercise the priesthood he holds to give me blessings on several occasions.
One particularly difficult night, I felt overwhelmed with everything and trying to take care of everyone. In the blessing, Heavenly Father told me to not be so concerned with the welfare of Macey and Cooper. (I was seriously stressing out about not spending enough time with them individually and making sure they were properly entertained!) I was reminded that they have each other. I was told that they also have angels that assist them on a daily basis.
I am still so grateful for those words. It is hard to split time between three kids. Time is never split equally, and I feel like some or all of the kids are neglected. It has been tough (probably more on me than anyone else)! I am so thankful for the angels that are sent to make up the difference when I can not.
I told Scott that it reminded me of the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child". Maybe, in our case, it will take our entire family ancestry to raise ours!
My emotions have been close to the surface, lately. It's so easy for me to blame that on post-pregnancy hormones, and I have readily done that with all my kids. I realized, in the middle of sobbing, the other day, that my emotions have been placed like that on purpose. With a newborn baby around--with such a sensitive spirit--I think it requires a humbling of spirit, which hormones does. I feel so much more sensitive to the situations around me, and I feel like I am able to be directed as to what to do next. I am so grateful for the spirit which guides me in every decision.
One particularly difficult night, I felt overwhelmed with everything and trying to take care of everyone. In the blessing, Heavenly Father told me to not be so concerned with the welfare of Macey and Cooper. (I was seriously stressing out about not spending enough time with them individually and making sure they were properly entertained!) I was reminded that they have each other. I was told that they also have angels that assist them on a daily basis.
I am still so grateful for those words. It is hard to split time between three kids. Time is never split equally, and I feel like some or all of the kids are neglected. It has been tough (probably more on me than anyone else)! I am so thankful for the angels that are sent to make up the difference when I can not.
I told Scott that it reminded me of the phrase "it takes a village to raise a child". Maybe, in our case, it will take our entire family ancestry to raise ours!
My emotions have been close to the surface, lately. It's so easy for me to blame that on post-pregnancy hormones, and I have readily done that with all my kids. I realized, in the middle of sobbing, the other day, that my emotions have been placed like that on purpose. With a newborn baby around--with such a sensitive spirit--I think it requires a humbling of spirit, which hormones does. I feel so much more sensitive to the situations around me, and I feel like I am able to be directed as to what to do next. I am so grateful for the spirit which guides me in every decision.
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Area Convention, Lisa
We went to Area Convention in Nephi this year. Brother Staheli (secretary to President Hinckley and current secretary to the Quorum of the Twelve) was our guest speaker this year. Life has been absolutely crazy the past three weeks (I may be writing this a few weeks after I experienced it... :) ) but I can't shake a story he told.
Someone asked about unity amoung the brethren. They all come from different walks of life, and they were curious to see how different personalities mesh. He told this story.
He said that one meeting the brethren were having, there was a disagreement between two of the brethren. They decided that a break was needed. Brother Staheli was sitting by one of the men who was in the conflict. He said he looked down, and the man was in tears. He looked up at Brother Staheli and said, "I'm afraid I offended him."
He said he didn't know the exact way this story ended, it wasn't his business to know. But he watched as minutes later, the other man who was the other half of the conflict was kneeling in front of the other. He had his hands clutched in his, and things were resolved after that.
It touches me heart, and teaches me so much about how to unify my own family. This story has taught me about what it means to be selfless and freely forgive.
Someone asked about unity amoung the brethren. They all come from different walks of life, and they were curious to see how different personalities mesh. He told this story.
He said that one meeting the brethren were having, there was a disagreement between two of the brethren. They decided that a break was needed. Brother Staheli was sitting by one of the men who was in the conflict. He said he looked down, and the man was in tears. He looked up at Brother Staheli and said, "I'm afraid I offended him."
He said he didn't know the exact way this story ended, it wasn't his business to know. But he watched as minutes later, the other man who was the other half of the conflict was kneeling in front of the other. He had his hands clutched in his, and things were resolved after that.
It touches me heart, and teaches me so much about how to unify my own family. This story has taught me about what it means to be selfless and freely forgive.
Monday, July 28, 2014
The power of the Book of Mormon
When I was younger my father instilled in me a great love for the scriptures and more especially the Book of Mormon. So I knew that when I became a father I would want to do the same for my kids.
Just this last year we began "reading" the scriptures with Macey. It was simply looking at a picture and telling the story behind it. Nothing fancy. It seemed to be going well but I felt like Macey, in a way, lacked interest. Oh...did I mention at this point she was 2 and a half years old? Not a whole lot peaks her interest. But we just pressed on hoping that maybe she was absorbing something.
One day during my personal study I came across this article in the "True to the Faith" manual that the Church has. I read this line about scripture study:
"Do not be afraid of reading the scriptures to small children. The language of those sacred records has power to touch even the very young."
This prompted me to read the Book of Mormon out loud to Macey. So the first night we sat down and read verses out loud and the results were incredible. Macey was sucked in! She began learning and feeling and in some way we began discussing doctrines and principles with her. Her favorite stories so far (we are just starting Mosiah at this point) are Nephi getting the plates an d the story of Nephi building the boat.
Even though she is 3, she is grasping, in some degree, the doctrines of the Gospel. Here is an example:
Me: (Reading from the Book of Enos) "So Enos prayed because he felt in his heart that he needed to. Do you know you can pray whenever we thou feel like it?"
Macey: "Macey had hiccups so I say prayer and hiccups go away. They all gone!"
Me: "Do you think Jesus helped you get rid of your hiccups?"
Macey: "Yes. Jesus help. Jesus love me."
Simple? Sure. But that is the point. For Macey, the Red Sea was parted, the Lord's hand was revealed and she learned that the scriptures are true and the Christ lives and loves her.
Not only has the spiritual learning been accelerated, but her secular learning has as well. Where, at first, she showed little to no interest in reading, now you can find her in the toy room with a stack of 12 books reading them all out loud. Is she actually reading? No, but she is learning. Her behavior has improved as well and the Book of Mormon provides her with parallel stories and examples that she can recognize daily.
What a tender mercy to have the Book of Mormon in our lives, and for the Spirit to confirm its truthfulness to even a little child.
Just this last year we began "reading" the scriptures with Macey. It was simply looking at a picture and telling the story behind it. Nothing fancy. It seemed to be going well but I felt like Macey, in a way, lacked interest. Oh...did I mention at this point she was 2 and a half years old? Not a whole lot peaks her interest. But we just pressed on hoping that maybe she was absorbing something.
One day during my personal study I came across this article in the "True to the Faith" manual that the Church has. I read this line about scripture study:
"Do not be afraid of reading the scriptures to small children. The language of those sacred records has power to touch even the very young."
This prompted me to read the Book of Mormon out loud to Macey. So the first night we sat down and read verses out loud and the results were incredible. Macey was sucked in! She began learning and feeling and in some way we began discussing doctrines and principles with her. Her favorite stories so far (we are just starting Mosiah at this point) are Nephi getting the plates an d the story of Nephi building the boat.
Even though she is 3, she is grasping, in some degree, the doctrines of the Gospel. Here is an example:
Me: (Reading from the Book of Enos) "So Enos prayed because he felt in his heart that he needed to. Do you know you can pray whenever we thou feel like it?"
Macey: "Macey had hiccups so I say prayer and hiccups go away. They all gone!"
Me: "Do you think Jesus helped you get rid of your hiccups?"
Macey: "Yes. Jesus help. Jesus love me."
Simple? Sure. But that is the point. For Macey, the Red Sea was parted, the Lord's hand was revealed and she learned that the scriptures are true and the Christ lives and loves her.
Not only has the spiritual learning been accelerated, but her secular learning has as well. Where, at first, she showed little to no interest in reading, now you can find her in the toy room with a stack of 12 books reading them all out loud. Is she actually reading? No, but she is learning. Her behavior has improved as well and the Book of Mormon provides her with parallel stories and examples that she can recognize daily.
What a tender mercy to have the Book of Mormon in our lives, and for the Spirit to confirm its truthfulness to even a little child.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Book of Mormon, Lisa
Scott and I have been working really hard to implement scripture reading for our kids. We have done a couple different things that have worked, but we keep feeling like there is a better way. The other day Scott was pondering, and he felt like we should read to the kids directly from "The Book of Mormon" each night. We had been telling stories and reading picture books with stories from "The Book of Mormon", but we felt like there is a spirit associated with reading the actual book that our kids can feel.
It went REALLY well! We read for a few days, and yesterday, when Scott got home from work, Macey was pretending to put her Rapunzel doll to sleep. She told Scott that she needed to read Rapunzel "The Book of Mormon" before she went to sleep. Macey tucked Rapunzel in, grabbed herself and blanket, and Macey and Scott sat on the couch. Scott was able to read her a whole chapter without her moving.
Later on in the day, she was still repeating things that Scott read from that chapter. I am so grateful for a worthy husband who listens to the spirit. Who teaches our children so well!
It went REALLY well! We read for a few days, and yesterday, when Scott got home from work, Macey was pretending to put her Rapunzel doll to sleep. She told Scott that she needed to read Rapunzel "The Book of Mormon" before she went to sleep. Macey tucked Rapunzel in, grabbed herself and blanket, and Macey and Scott sat on the couch. Scott was able to read her a whole chapter without her moving.
Later on in the day, she was still repeating things that Scott read from that chapter. I am so grateful for a worthy husband who listens to the spirit. Who teaches our children so well!
Friday, May 2, 2014
How Does She Know?, Lisa
It has been a really rough week. I don't know why some weeks are harder than the others. I feel like I do the same thing day in, day out, but after what seems like a hard week, it just wears on you!
This morning, I started off having a rough morning. I woke up slightly irritated, and I just wanted to curl back up and go back to sleep. I finally put Cooper to sleep, and I walked into the kitchen. I was overwhelmed already, and I knew that I had the rest of the day to endure. I just collapsed on the kitchen floor, and I started sobbing. I ended up curled up, crying on the kitchen floor.
I heard the patter of little footsteps, and I looked up to see Macey walking toward me. I sat up on my knees and gave Macey a weak smile. She walked right up to me and said, "Mom, sad?" I told her I was sad, and she bent over a little bit, stuck out her pudgy fingers, and wiped the tears off my cheeks. She said, "It's okay, it's okay." After my tears were wiped away, she turned around and just sat on my lap. She sat there until I had calmed down enough, and she walked away.
It was exactly what I needed--how did she know?! I am so grateful for a little daughter that listens to the Holy Ghost and knows exactly how to support me as her mother.
This morning, I started off having a rough morning. I woke up slightly irritated, and I just wanted to curl back up and go back to sleep. I finally put Cooper to sleep, and I walked into the kitchen. I was overwhelmed already, and I knew that I had the rest of the day to endure. I just collapsed on the kitchen floor, and I started sobbing. I ended up curled up, crying on the kitchen floor.
I heard the patter of little footsteps, and I looked up to see Macey walking toward me. I sat up on my knees and gave Macey a weak smile. She walked right up to me and said, "Mom, sad?" I told her I was sad, and she bent over a little bit, stuck out her pudgy fingers, and wiped the tears off my cheeks. She said, "It's okay, it's okay." After my tears were wiped away, she turned around and just sat on my lap. She sat there until I had calmed down enough, and she walked away.
It was exactly what I needed--how did she know?! I am so grateful for a little daughter that listens to the Holy Ghost and knows exactly how to support me as her mother.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
We are a Happy Family, Lisa
I am in the semi-fun portion of pregnancy where I am not too uncomfortable yet, sickness is gone and I can enjoy the soft nudges that Jemma gives me. The only thing that has been different about this pregnancy (well, big picture part of pregnancy) is that the placenta is anterior to the baby, so that means that I have a "wall" between my stomach and Jemma's kicking. It's harder for the doctor to find a heartbeat, and it's harder to feel her move.
Yesterday, we all sat down for dinner. Scott was saying the prayer over the food, and I had my arm around Macey to calm her down and keep her seated. Scott prayed for our small family that we could be happy, enjoy each other, and love each other. I went to give Macey a quick squeeze, and Jemma kicks me. She kicked me harder than she ever has. I felt like it was a reminder that she was there, and she knew the family that she was coming into!
Scott and I constantly have moments where we feel like someone is missing. We stop, count our kids, realize we are all there, and then feel like it's because Jemma is coming. It is so obvious that she is supposed to be a part of us! We are one crazy group of people, but I KNOW that she is supposed to be here now, in our family. We love her already!
Yesterday, we all sat down for dinner. Scott was saying the prayer over the food, and I had my arm around Macey to calm her down and keep her seated. Scott prayed for our small family that we could be happy, enjoy each other, and love each other. I went to give Macey a quick squeeze, and Jemma kicks me. She kicked me harder than she ever has. I felt like it was a reminder that she was there, and she knew the family that she was coming into!
Scott and I constantly have moments where we feel like someone is missing. We stop, count our kids, realize we are all there, and then feel like it's because Jemma is coming. It is so obvious that she is supposed to be a part of us! We are one crazy group of people, but I KNOW that she is supposed to be here now, in our family. We love her already!
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Concrete, Lisa
Remember that crazy home decorating rampage I'm on? Well, it continues :) We have been working on making our yard and outside more kid friendly. My mom suggested that my dad could help pour a concrete pad around the back of our house. Then, our kids can ride bikes and write with chalk, etc. out back!
We talked about the possibility of doing this, but we don't have the money right now. We considered saving and doing it sometime this summer...maybe using some of our extra paycheck in May to pay for it.
We would need A LOT of concrete! A bag of concrete is about $4.00 each.
I was putting together my grocery list, and I got the feeling that, again, I should go to Home Depot.com. Part of their Summer Black Friday Sale included backs of Sakrete for $1.99 each--that's half the price!! We figured it out, and it would only cost us about $45 to do the whole thing...compared to the near $100 it would have taken previously!
Again, I frantically texted Scott at work, and I called my dad to see if he really thought we could do this! I got the "okay"!
Obviously, Heavenly Father knows what I love and what makes me happy. He knows what my hobbies are, and he cares! This week, he knew how obsessed I would be with all these home renovations, this is how he showed his love.
We talked about the possibility of doing this, but we don't have the money right now. We considered saving and doing it sometime this summer...maybe using some of our extra paycheck in May to pay for it.
We would need A LOT of concrete! A bag of concrete is about $4.00 each.
I was putting together my grocery list, and I got the feeling that, again, I should go to Home Depot.com. Part of their Summer Black Friday Sale included backs of Sakrete for $1.99 each--that's half the price!! We figured it out, and it would only cost us about $45 to do the whole thing...compared to the near $100 it would have taken previously!
Again, I frantically texted Scott at work, and I called my dad to see if he really thought we could do this! I got the "okay"!
Obviously, Heavenly Father knows what I love and what makes me happy. He knows what my hobbies are, and he cares! This week, he knew how obsessed I would be with all these home renovations, this is how he showed his love.
Friday, April 11, 2014
A Daughter's Love, Lisa
Oh, I had such a hard time today! Everyone was just a little emotional and on edge. I couldn't take it! At about 10:00, I had complete meltdown on the kitchen floor: crying, curled up in a ball. I have moments like these periodically, but emotionally, this is how I process things...as strange as that sounds.
I was having a hard time about 5 minutes into it. I had finally sat up, and I was sitting on the floor. I kept praying for Heavenly Father to let me know it was all going to be okay. Macey and I had had a love-hate relationship all morning.
After everything that had happened, my sweet, two-year old daughter, walked over to me, crouched in front of me, took her little pudgy finger, and she wiped away my tears. She told me it was going to be okay, and then she turned and sat on my lap. She just sat there! My boisterous little girl, who doesn't hold still for too many things, just sat on my lap until I calmed down. I couldn't kiss her enough or tell her that I love her enough!
Today I am so thankful for the spirited that prompted my little girl to let me know that we both had a Father in Heaven that loves us.
I was having a hard time about 5 minutes into it. I had finally sat up, and I was sitting on the floor. I kept praying for Heavenly Father to let me know it was all going to be okay. Macey and I had had a love-hate relationship all morning.
After everything that had happened, my sweet, two-year old daughter, walked over to me, crouched in front of me, took her little pudgy finger, and she wiped away my tears. She told me it was going to be okay, and then she turned and sat on my lap. She just sat there! My boisterous little girl, who doesn't hold still for too many things, just sat on my lap until I calmed down. I couldn't kiss her enough or tell her that I love her enough!
Today I am so thankful for the spirited that prompted my little girl to let me know that we both had a Father in Heaven that loves us.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Paint, Lisa
I have been so anxious about our home lately. I feel like I want to touch up and remodel everything! Perhaps, it is because I'm pregnant and nesting. I am so excited about projects and making our home a little nicer. I constantly think of the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" and of their home. It was his wife, Mary's dream home, and she spent a good part of their time, money and efforts working to make it into a home for their family. I feel like that's me!
A little over a month ago, I decided that I wanted to paint the kid's room and the toy room. Scott and I went to Home Depot about a month ago, and we browsed through color selections. I picked a yellow and green color, and then I tucked away my color choices for a day when I had money to pay for paint. I figured I could pay for the paint with an extra pay check that we get in May.
This morning, I got the feeling like I should go to Home Depot.com. It was such a strange thought, but I couldn't put it aside. I pulled up the website and saw they were having a Summer Black Friday Sale. I casually browsed their paint selection. In their clearance section they had the exact brand, finish, and colors that I was looking for. They had only shades of green and yellow, and the gallons of paint were marked down from $35 to $14 each.
I gasped. I couldn't believe it! I texted Scott at work and asked what I should do. He wrote back as soon as he could, and he told me to do it. We saved $110 dollars total!
I am so grateful that Heavenly Father prompted me to get online. I am so grateful that he is aware of me--and especially our family's budget.
A little over a month ago, I decided that I wanted to paint the kid's room and the toy room. Scott and I went to Home Depot about a month ago, and we browsed through color selections. I picked a yellow and green color, and then I tucked away my color choices for a day when I had money to pay for paint. I figured I could pay for the paint with an extra pay check that we get in May.
This morning, I got the feeling like I should go to Home Depot.com. It was such a strange thought, but I couldn't put it aside. I pulled up the website and saw they were having a Summer Black Friday Sale. I casually browsed their paint selection. In their clearance section they had the exact brand, finish, and colors that I was looking for. They had only shades of green and yellow, and the gallons of paint were marked down from $35 to $14 each.
I gasped. I couldn't believe it! I texted Scott at work and asked what I should do. He wrote back as soon as he could, and he told me to do it. We saved $110 dollars total!
I am so grateful that Heavenly Father prompted me to get online. I am so grateful that he is aware of me--and especially our family's budget.
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
The Tape, Lisa
Money is tight. We are at the point in our pay check that there isn't any extra. I am working on touching up paint in the house. I have done several rooms, and I have used painters tape in all the rooms. I am running low. Today, I was thinking about how I didn't have enough paint to last through the next room.
I went through budget, and we don't have anything extra. I had decided, in my mind, that I would have to put the tape on a credit card. It was one of those things that I felt like we needed, but being the money wasn't there, I would put it on the credit card.
An hour later, I was cleaning in our room (on an extremely stressful day, I might add!) and I saw a flash of blue behind a tupperware in our room. I walked over, pulled out the tupperware, and I found almost a full roll of painter's tape. I don't remember having an additional roll or losing it, but Heavenly Father did.
He knew, that on this hard day, finding a roll of blue tape would be the thing to remind me that Heavenly Father was aware of me. What a tender mercy!
I went through budget, and we don't have anything extra. I had decided, in my mind, that I would have to put the tape on a credit card. It was one of those things that I felt like we needed, but being the money wasn't there, I would put it on the credit card.
An hour later, I was cleaning in our room (on an extremely stressful day, I might add!) and I saw a flash of blue behind a tupperware in our room. I walked over, pulled out the tupperware, and I found almost a full roll of painter's tape. I don't remember having an additional roll or losing it, but Heavenly Father did.
He knew, that on this hard day, finding a roll of blue tape would be the thing to remind me that Heavenly Father was aware of me. What a tender mercy!
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Stake Conference, Lisa
I once heard a talk at General Conference from a sister who taught, that as mothers, it is our responsibility to help children recognize what The Spirit feels like. I had never thought about that before, and that truth hit me so hard that I haven't forgotten it!
We were so nervous for Stake Conference--hard metal chairs, in a gym with basketball hoops, with two kids under the age of two. I brought everything but the kitchen sink to distract the kids, and surprisingly, it was a great conference. The kids did wonderfully, and Macey made me cry a couple of times.
During the opening song, Macey turned to me and told me she felt happy. I asked if she felt it in her heart. I explained what the spirit was and that it makes us feel happy when we do good things and are where we are supposed to be. She then turned to Scott and told her that "Jesus in heart. Happy!"
Immediately, Scott and I burst into tears. What a tender mercy that, as parents, we were able to recognize the moment to teach, and it made a difference. Not only that, but she has continued to tell us when "Jesus is in her heart". What a blessing to have the spirit as parents!
We were so nervous for Stake Conference--hard metal chairs, in a gym with basketball hoops, with two kids under the age of two. I brought everything but the kitchen sink to distract the kids, and surprisingly, it was a great conference. The kids did wonderfully, and Macey made me cry a couple of times.
During the opening song, Macey turned to me and told me she felt happy. I asked if she felt it in her heart. I explained what the spirit was and that it makes us feel happy when we do good things and are where we are supposed to be. She then turned to Scott and told her that "Jesus in heart. Happy!"
Immediately, Scott and I burst into tears. What a tender mercy that, as parents, we were able to recognize the moment to teach, and it made a difference. Not only that, but she has continued to tell us when "Jesus is in her heart". What a blessing to have the spirit as parents!
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Today, Lisa
Today has be an a great day! This morning Scott had to go help with a scouting food drive. The kids were awake, so I cleaned up breakfast and took care of the kids. Right after Scott left, Macey came up to me and asked where dad had gone.
I thought about how I could explain to her about scouting and why Scott had to go...not an easy thing to explain to a two year old! I finally told her that Scott was helping Jesus this morning. She didn't miss a beat! She looked at me right in the eye and said "Macey help Jesus too."
I was shocked, and her comment made me laugh. (She did also follow up by telling me that she wanted to play with Jesus at the park.) When I thought about it later,I was touched by Macey' s immeditate and resolute answer...she wanted to help Jesus too. If dad was helping Jesus, she wanted to be there too.
Tonight was the Saturday night session of stake conference. Someone needed to stay home with the kids. Scott immediately told me that I should go. I saw how crazy our home was before I left, but Scott toold me to go. I offered to stay and help, But he told me to go.
Today I am also grateful for a husband that is not only taking. Care of my physical and emotional needs, but He is watching out for my spiritual and mental health. I was so excited for alone time to learn and have a break, and he gave me that. . Oh, how Iove him!
I thought about how I could explain to her about scouting and why Scott had to go...not an easy thing to explain to a two year old! I finally told her that Scott was helping Jesus this morning. She didn't miss a beat! She looked at me right in the eye and said "Macey help Jesus too."
I was shocked, and her comment made me laugh. (She did also follow up by telling me that she wanted to play with Jesus at the park.) When I thought about it later,I was touched by Macey' s immeditate and resolute answer...she wanted to help Jesus too. If dad was helping Jesus, she wanted to be there too.
Tonight was the Saturday night session of stake conference. Someone needed to stay home with the kids. Scott immediately told me that I should go. I saw how crazy our home was before I left, but Scott toold me to go. I offered to stay and help, But he told me to go.
Today I am also grateful for a husband that is not only taking. Care of my physical and emotional needs, but He is watching out for my spiritual and mental health. I was so excited for alone time to learn and have a break, and he gave me that. . Oh, how Iove him!
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Baby Jemma, Lisa
We found out a week ago that the little baby entering our family this year is a girl. We are all so excited! I thought for a long time it would be a boy, so a girl was such a welcome surprise!
Periodically, we would ask Macey if it was a baby girl or a baby boy in mommy's tummy. We always got a different answer, but it was fun to ask! About a week before we were going to find out if it was a boy or a girl, we were getting ready for dinner.
It was a whirlwind dinner! I felt like I had been running around like crazy trying to get everyone's dinner and comb Macey's hair after bath time. I finally sat down, and was a bit frustrated. We started to eat.
In the middle of eating, a while after we had said prayer, Macey stops eating. She gasps and says, "Girl, girl, girl." I was still frustrated, so in passing, I asked, "what girl? who are you talking about?" Macey then said, "Girl, pray. Girl, pray." I still had no idea who she was talking about. I asked what girl she wanted to pray for. She looked at me for a minute, I think willing me to understand what she was saying. She then pointed to her tummy. I asked if she wanted to pray for the girl in mommy's tummy. She said, "yeah!"
At that point, my emotions were so close to the surface. I felt that we were having a girl, and I think Macey felt that too. Scott had to say the prayer for the baby girl in mommy's tummy because I couldn't get out the prayer.
I am convinced that there has been the spirit of a little girl around our home. It makes me so happy to think that Macey and Cooper are getting acquainted with her already.
We are so excited for baby Jemma to be here!
Periodically, we would ask Macey if it was a baby girl or a baby boy in mommy's tummy. We always got a different answer, but it was fun to ask! About a week before we were going to find out if it was a boy or a girl, we were getting ready for dinner.
It was a whirlwind dinner! I felt like I had been running around like crazy trying to get everyone's dinner and comb Macey's hair after bath time. I finally sat down, and was a bit frustrated. We started to eat.
In the middle of eating, a while after we had said prayer, Macey stops eating. She gasps and says, "Girl, girl, girl." I was still frustrated, so in passing, I asked, "what girl? who are you talking about?" Macey then said, "Girl, pray. Girl, pray." I still had no idea who she was talking about. I asked what girl she wanted to pray for. She looked at me for a minute, I think willing me to understand what she was saying. She then pointed to her tummy. I asked if she wanted to pray for the girl in mommy's tummy. She said, "yeah!"
At that point, my emotions were so close to the surface. I felt that we were having a girl, and I think Macey felt that too. Scott had to say the prayer for the baby girl in mommy's tummy because I couldn't get out the prayer.
I am convinced that there has been the spirit of a little girl around our home. It makes me so happy to think that Macey and Cooper are getting acquainted with her already.
We are so excited for baby Jemma to be here!
Gifts, Lisa
I was able to go to Time Out for Women in Richfield, and I wanted to write down my thoughts before they were gone. TOFW is always such a great experience for me. It rejuvenates me, and there is always something that I need to hear and learn from! Learning has definitely been my tender mercy of the weekend.
Most of this weekend, for me, was focused on gifts and motherhood. The theme scripture was in 1 Timothy 4:14-15. It says:
"Neglect not the gift that is in thee meditate upon these things give thyself wholly to them."
The theme quote is from Elder Lawrence C. Corbridge from the Ensign, September 2011. He says:
"For those of us who feel wanting when it comes to talents and gifts, it is encouraging to know that this invitation is not to dazzle others with who we are or what we know. Rather, our light is the Light of the World reflected in us as we simply strive to do as He did. That's it. The Lord tells us to follow Him and not be ashamed or unwilling to stand out. Do not be ashamed to hold up His light. Do not be afraid to shine. Do not worry about the outcome. your light, which is His light, will shine, and whether or not you choose to want it, you will be a city set on a hill. Your light will shine as an inevitable consequence of faithfully choosing t follow the Lord, whatever the cost."
The first talk of the weekend was probably my favorite. She based her talk around finding light at the end of the "Mom Tunnel". She said that as she was planning, she realized that there is no light, because there is no end to the mom tunnel. Instead, she suggested that we take light with us in the tunnel, then it doesn't matter if we make it to the end. The Light we bring, she suggested, is the Light of the World. If we bring the Savior with us on our motherhood journey, we will have light.
Another woman talked about the gifts our children have. She suggested that when our families are whole, it is because we have all the gifts our family needs to make it to eternal life. Each child is different and each has different gifts. Our jobs, as mothers, is to ensure that their talents are shining through. I started to think about Macey and Cooper. They are so different, but their spirits are such an important part of our family. I love that with their gifts, our family is on the way to becoming whole.
It was a great weekend to realize that I am doing okay. I'm not alone in the whole motherhood thing. It's hard for everyone, and that's okay :)
Most of this weekend, for me, was focused on gifts and motherhood. The theme scripture was in 1 Timothy 4:14-15. It says:
"Neglect not the gift that is in thee meditate upon these things give thyself wholly to them."
The theme quote is from Elder Lawrence C. Corbridge from the Ensign, September 2011. He says:
"For those of us who feel wanting when it comes to talents and gifts, it is encouraging to know that this invitation is not to dazzle others with who we are or what we know. Rather, our light is the Light of the World reflected in us as we simply strive to do as He did. That's it. The Lord tells us to follow Him and not be ashamed or unwilling to stand out. Do not be ashamed to hold up His light. Do not be afraid to shine. Do not worry about the outcome. your light, which is His light, will shine, and whether or not you choose to want it, you will be a city set on a hill. Your light will shine as an inevitable consequence of faithfully choosing t follow the Lord, whatever the cost."
The first talk of the weekend was probably my favorite. She based her talk around finding light at the end of the "Mom Tunnel". She said that as she was planning, she realized that there is no light, because there is no end to the mom tunnel. Instead, she suggested that we take light with us in the tunnel, then it doesn't matter if we make it to the end. The Light we bring, she suggested, is the Light of the World. If we bring the Savior with us on our motherhood journey, we will have light.
Another woman talked about the gifts our children have. She suggested that when our families are whole, it is because we have all the gifts our family needs to make it to eternal life. Each child is different and each has different gifts. Our jobs, as mothers, is to ensure that their talents are shining through. I started to think about Macey and Cooper. They are so different, but their spirits are such an important part of our family. I love that with their gifts, our family is on the way to becoming whole.
It was a great weekend to realize that I am doing okay. I'm not alone in the whole motherhood thing. It's hard for everyone, and that's okay :)
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Overwhelmed
I have felt particularly stressed this week. Who am I kidding? I feel stressed every week! I am constantly worried about not doing enough or being enough for Scott and the kids, and because I spend so much time doing that, I don't have a lot of time to focus on myself. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be, though.
Cooper is getting 4 molars and his 2 top eye teeth. All at the same time. He doesn't handle pain very well, and he is extremely clingy. In the past, I constantly lamented that Macey wasn't a cuddly baby. Well, today, I could have been okay with another non-cuddly baby. Cooper doesn't feel well, and no matter how much medicine I have given him, he wants to be held constantly. He also screams and cries over everything.
It's an overwhelming experience because I know that I can't fix what is wrong with him, so I sit there and try to hold him through it.
Maybe today was a bad day to do laundry with all of this, but I had no choice. Dishes needed to be unloaded from the dishwasher, so we could eat breakfast and lunch. Meals needed to be made. Cooper had to be put down. Screaming ensued.
At the low point of today, I put Cooper in his crib to cry, apologized to Macey for not being able to pay attention to her today, and went in my room and bawled. I bawled like a baby. I was just so overwhelmed (that sure is the word today).
In the middle of crying, Macey came in the room, and said, "Mom, Cooper crying." I told her that I knew he was crying, and I was sorry, but he just needed to cry right now. I just couldn't go get him yet. She left the room, and she went and stood by his door, listening. In a couple minutes, she came back in, and said, "Mom, crying?" I told her I was crying, and apologized again for falling apart. She ran away quickly and came back. She was carrying her bowl of popcorn. She sat right down next to me, and she just sat there. It was exactly what I needed. I'm so grateful for a daughter that loves me through my flaws.
Cooper is getting 4 molars and his 2 top eye teeth. All at the same time. He doesn't handle pain very well, and he is extremely clingy. In the past, I constantly lamented that Macey wasn't a cuddly baby. Well, today, I could have been okay with another non-cuddly baby. Cooper doesn't feel well, and no matter how much medicine I have given him, he wants to be held constantly. He also screams and cries over everything.
It's an overwhelming experience because I know that I can't fix what is wrong with him, so I sit there and try to hold him through it.
Maybe today was a bad day to do laundry with all of this, but I had no choice. Dishes needed to be unloaded from the dishwasher, so we could eat breakfast and lunch. Meals needed to be made. Cooper had to be put down. Screaming ensued.
At the low point of today, I put Cooper in his crib to cry, apologized to Macey for not being able to pay attention to her today, and went in my room and bawled. I bawled like a baby. I was just so overwhelmed (that sure is the word today).
In the middle of crying, Macey came in the room, and said, "Mom, Cooper crying." I told her that I knew he was crying, and I was sorry, but he just needed to cry right now. I just couldn't go get him yet. She left the room, and she went and stood by his door, listening. In a couple minutes, she came back in, and said, "Mom, crying?" I told her I was crying, and apologized again for falling apart. She ran away quickly and came back. She was carrying her bowl of popcorn. She sat right down next to me, and she just sat there. It was exactly what I needed. I'm so grateful for a daughter that loves me through my flaws.
Thursday, February 20, 2014
A multitude of tender mercies, Scott
Before I sat down to write, I reflected on recent tender mercies that the Lord given to my family and I, and as memories came to me, a floodgate was opened and "a multitude" of His tender mercies came to mind. One of the more recent tender mercies I have seen came on a day that, for all intents and purposes, should have been a bad day. (The Lord seems to let you know He is there the most when you think you are alone). It was a hard day with the kids and Lisa, who is pregnant and having a rough time, was exhausted. We decided that eating out was needed, but as always, our options were weighed on the scale of cost. Money is tight, and when money is tight, frustrations become loose. Frustrated that we were eating out, with a tired wife and tired kids in the van we drove to Richfield. On top of it all, it was snowing.
As drove, our windshield split. A 3 foot crack ran all along the bottom of the our newly fixed windshield. This would surely be a $300 fix. $300 dollars that we did not have. We drove to the shop that had recently fixed the chip in our windshield and they informed us that it would be replaced free of charge. In our moment of frustration and need for help, the Lord's love shone into our hearts. As soon as we heard the news I literally felt the Lord lift that burden off me. It was His mercy that allowed the despair of the day to disappear and His love to fill my heart.
As drove, our windshield split. A 3 foot crack ran all along the bottom of the our newly fixed windshield. This would surely be a $300 fix. $300 dollars that we did not have. We drove to the shop that had recently fixed the chip in our windshield and they informed us that it would be replaced free of charge. In our moment of frustration and need for help, the Lord's love shone into our hearts. As soon as we heard the news I literally felt the Lord lift that burden off me. It was His mercy that allowed the despair of the day to disappear and His love to fill my heart.
It's working!
Macey is venturing through the terrible twos, and I think I may be having a harder time with it than she is! I hate being mean, and I constantly ask "can't we just be happy and get along?!" If only the kids could understand what I mean! :)
When I put Macey down for a nap or to sleep at night, we go through a bedtime ritual, and usually it involves asking for a drink, music, prayer, potty, etc. In her nap time, or nightly, prayers, if we forget to pray for Abby, she is the first to remind us. Even after we pray for Abby, Macey asks if we can pray again. I usually draw the line at 3 prayers per event, so lately, I have changed my tactics.
We had a long talk one night about praying, and how she can pray on her own. She doesn't need mom or dad there. She can pray to Heavenly Father, and He loves her so much, he will listen to her.
Our talk was about a month ago, but every time she lays down and asks for additional prayers, I remind her that she can pray on her own. To be honest, I never wondered if she did it. I kind of assumed that all it did was put an end to her asking.
Well, yesterday, when I went to get Macey after her nap, she was so excited! She explained for about a minute how she prayed all by herself for Abby. I was shocked! I couldn't believe that she did it, and she was excited that she had prayed on her own! I am so incredibly proud! And I am so incredibly grateful for the tender mercy of consistency. Even though I had no clue what I was doing every time I reminded her she could pray on her own, Heavenly Father did. I told Macey about five different times how proud I was of her for praying on her own. I'm so thankful to be her mom!
When I put Macey down for a nap or to sleep at night, we go through a bedtime ritual, and usually it involves asking for a drink, music, prayer, potty, etc. In her nap time, or nightly, prayers, if we forget to pray for Abby, she is the first to remind us. Even after we pray for Abby, Macey asks if we can pray again. I usually draw the line at 3 prayers per event, so lately, I have changed my tactics.
We had a long talk one night about praying, and how she can pray on her own. She doesn't need mom or dad there. She can pray to Heavenly Father, and He loves her so much, he will listen to her.
Our talk was about a month ago, but every time she lays down and asks for additional prayers, I remind her that she can pray on her own. To be honest, I never wondered if she did it. I kind of assumed that all it did was put an end to her asking.
Well, yesterday, when I went to get Macey after her nap, she was so excited! She explained for about a minute how she prayed all by herself for Abby. I was shocked! I couldn't believe that she did it, and she was excited that she had prayed on her own! I am so incredibly proud! And I am so incredibly grateful for the tender mercy of consistency. Even though I had no clue what I was doing every time I reminded her she could pray on her own, Heavenly Father did. I told Macey about five different times how proud I was of her for praying on her own. I'm so thankful to be her mom!
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Monday, in retrospect, Lisa
Monday, yesterday, was such a good day! It was President's Day, so Scott had the day off of work. The weather was also in the 60s, so we were able to sped time working the yard! Scott can tell anyone that I have been craving a garden, and a reason to go outside and work! I didn't realize I loved being outside this much!
We pruned our fruit trees yesterday, and we also mowed the lawn (which was covered with leaves from the fall). We were outside for about three hours. By the time we went back inside, I was exhausted! It probably doesn't help that I'm 4 months pregnant, but I haven't worked this hard in a long time.
I walked inside, sat down, and I could barely keep my eyes open. Scott was wonderful, and he helped me as much as he could. He even volunteered to buy me ice cream to help me feel better. Good husband? I think so!
I put dinner in the crock pot last night, but it wasn't ready by dinner...so I had to improvise. I was so stressed out by the time we sat down. We just put Cooper at the table with us, and it's so fun. All four of us, eating together. Cooper was a riot last night. He knew he was being funny, and he just kept doing it! I was gut laughing by the end of dinner.
It's hard having two little kids this close together in age, but they are so special. Cooper's spirit was made with a special sense of humor, and I am so glad that he is a part of our family...especially yesterday, when I needed him and his spirit so much.
We pruned our fruit trees yesterday, and we also mowed the lawn (which was covered with leaves from the fall). We were outside for about three hours. By the time we went back inside, I was exhausted! It probably doesn't help that I'm 4 months pregnant, but I haven't worked this hard in a long time.
I walked inside, sat down, and I could barely keep my eyes open. Scott was wonderful, and he helped me as much as he could. He even volunteered to buy me ice cream to help me feel better. Good husband? I think so!
I put dinner in the crock pot last night, but it wasn't ready by dinner...so I had to improvise. I was so stressed out by the time we sat down. We just put Cooper at the table with us, and it's so fun. All four of us, eating together. Cooper was a riot last night. He knew he was being funny, and he just kept doing it! I was gut laughing by the end of dinner.
It's hard having two little kids this close together in age, but they are so special. Cooper's spirit was made with a special sense of humor, and I am so glad that he is a part of our family...especially yesterday, when I needed him and his spirit so much.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Sunday Tender Mercies, Lisa
Our blog book has been inspired by our family theme for this year "...according to His tender mercies...". We have had countless experiences that prove that Heavenly Father is aware of us individually and of our family. We have decided that these experiences need to be recorded.
I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost. Daily, I am pushed. I am prompted, and I experience more than I could experience on my own. I love the small promptings that I receive. These small promptings always seem to start as small decisions, and they escalate to larger improvements in my life. I have been prompted for a couple weeks to start this "blog/book/journal" of our experiences, and I am finally starting it. I am glad that the Holy Ghost didn't give up on me. :)
It's usually a miracle if I glean any spiritual message off of sacrament meeting. Generally, Scott and I are wrestling two kids under the age of two. My mind is usually on my two year sticking princess stickers to the pew and feeding our one year old snacks to keep him entertained and not on the speakers.
Today was different. My children were extremely well behaved. Neither Scott nor I had to leave Sacrament Meeting once. I was able to listen to the first adult speaker today, and I felt she spoke to my spirit. She spoke about sacrifice.
Perhaps, I should interject a personal narrative, first. I had struggled so much the last month. Oh boy, have I struggled! I have spent countless days in tears. I have been frustrated, angry, speechless, tired, sick, and the list could go on and on. (I should further mention I have had many joyous moments, too.) I have cried out many times to my Father in Heaven for help. Literally, cried out. On bathroom floors. In pantries. By the cribs of my children.
I have just felt overwhelmed. Macey is going through the terrible-twos (and they are pretty gnarly) and Cooper is learning how to navigate our home (i. e. climb on, and get into everything!). We have had the stomach flu, the cold-flu, attempted potty training, dealt with morning sickness, weaned Cooper off of formula, weaned Cooper off of bottles, money has been extremely tight, Scott has worked long hours, Scott has been working on his graduate school application. The list could go on. It was a hard month. Daily, I struggled.
Sacrifice. The speaker suggested how difficult it sometimes was to pay tithing. It's a leap of faith when the money is not there. I started to think about Scott and his employment. We are not paid very much, but we are paid with tithing money. I thought about how I never really struggle with the decision to pay tithing. Perhaps, it is because I know the faith of the members that do struggle to pay it. They put their trust in the Lord, that he will use that money for the building of the kingdom. The Lord then trusts us to build it up. The members, essentially, trust us. How could I not pay back the Lord for that trust? Am I willing to sacrifice because he trusts me?
I realized the stewardship that Scott and I are responsible for. I am grateful to have the trust of the Lord, now I need to trust that all of this is for my good. I realized that I can stand, and He needs me to, daily.
I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost. Daily, I am pushed. I am prompted, and I experience more than I could experience on my own. I love the small promptings that I receive. These small promptings always seem to start as small decisions, and they escalate to larger improvements in my life. I have been prompted for a couple weeks to start this "blog/book/journal" of our experiences, and I am finally starting it. I am glad that the Holy Ghost didn't give up on me. :)
It's usually a miracle if I glean any spiritual message off of sacrament meeting. Generally, Scott and I are wrestling two kids under the age of two. My mind is usually on my two year sticking princess stickers to the pew and feeding our one year old snacks to keep him entertained and not on the speakers.
Today was different. My children were extremely well behaved. Neither Scott nor I had to leave Sacrament Meeting once. I was able to listen to the first adult speaker today, and I felt she spoke to my spirit. She spoke about sacrifice.
Perhaps, I should interject a personal narrative, first. I had struggled so much the last month. Oh boy, have I struggled! I have spent countless days in tears. I have been frustrated, angry, speechless, tired, sick, and the list could go on and on. (I should further mention I have had many joyous moments, too.) I have cried out many times to my Father in Heaven for help. Literally, cried out. On bathroom floors. In pantries. By the cribs of my children.
I have just felt overwhelmed. Macey is going through the terrible-twos (and they are pretty gnarly) and Cooper is learning how to navigate our home (i. e. climb on, and get into everything!). We have had the stomach flu, the cold-flu, attempted potty training, dealt with morning sickness, weaned Cooper off of formula, weaned Cooper off of bottles, money has been extremely tight, Scott has worked long hours, Scott has been working on his graduate school application. The list could go on. It was a hard month. Daily, I struggled.
Sacrifice. The speaker suggested how difficult it sometimes was to pay tithing. It's a leap of faith when the money is not there. I started to think about Scott and his employment. We are not paid very much, but we are paid with tithing money. I thought about how I never really struggle with the decision to pay tithing. Perhaps, it is because I know the faith of the members that do struggle to pay it. They put their trust in the Lord, that he will use that money for the building of the kingdom. The Lord then trusts us to build it up. The members, essentially, trust us. How could I not pay back the Lord for that trust? Am I willing to sacrifice because he trusts me?
I realized the stewardship that Scott and I are responsible for. I am grateful to have the trust of the Lord, now I need to trust that all of this is for my good. I realized that I can stand, and He needs me to, daily.
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